Wishing I could tell you the truth. Instead I hide how I truly feel. Why? Some people might say it is probably my insecurities. What they really don't know is the real truth. And in that lies not just the why but who I am.
So what is my fear in not telling you the truth... I'm scared of you. No am not scared of you leaving me or not loving me anymore. Which is what most people would think because that is usually their fears. I can handle being alone. Okay who am I kidding, I don't want to be alone and yes I would like to be loved. But I know I can survive with out it. As I have had to do pretty much all my life, sounds so extreme, I know but it is true.
So my fear is your anger, you have never hit me before, you have came close to it and raised you fist at me. Thankfully hitting the wall instead me. But when you lose your temper you have know idea what it does to me. All the stuff it brings up from the past, that I work so hard at leaving it there.
I'm scared of you, and you don't even have a clue. Maybe you do, could it be your way to control me and manipulate me?
I don't know you, you might know me. I'm just trying to figure it all out, and not get lost along the way
